I don’t even know where to begin, to process the shootings in Connecticut today. I’ve deliberately not turned on the TV or checked Facebook since I first heard the news, because it’s just too painful. Instead, I have tried to just be with my three young daughters. To drink them in, and remember why they are here in the first place. They are here because I desperately wanted to be a mother. I wanted the opportunity to teach them how to live vibrantly, and celebrate their milestones along the way.
But it’s hard to focus on their need to play Littlest Pet Shop, when the news is of innocent children brutally murdered, and parents who are grieving tonight. Even so, playing with my kids is exactly what I should do right now.
I can’t change what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary, but I can make sure my children feel loved today. I can look them in the eye…and play hide and seek…and hug them for a really long time. Stay in the moment, Amber. Make the healthy choice. Be aware, see your children for who they are, and make sure they know that they are seen. Because, as Henry Miller once said (and I often remind myself): “The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.”
What happened in Connecticut today is the worst kind of heartbreak. It’s also a reminder that we must LIVE our lives. What’s getting in the way of living your life? Set it aside now, and get down to the business of living.